BOLEHLAND - Part 1

there was once a kingdom in the far east, hailed as the greatest of them all and known as the BOLEHLAND. at its helm, sat proudly a king simply known as PM (Punda Mar). PM wanted to be remembered and glorified forever in the history of BOLEHLAND. hence, he summoned all his moronic ministers to his palace and decreed a new policy called BEE SEE AYE. being stupid assholes as they were, noone seemed to have an inkling of this new policy but noone dared to ask. finally, after a maddening bickering, money politicking (the only time they used money not to be voted) and back stabbing, they appointed a black sheep to ask PM the dreaded question. this is how the conversation took place (in translation) :-

BS : dato sri, saiya tanya sket ada boley?

PM : apa mo tanya anei

BS : sumua worang ada sket pening, belakang suruh saya kasi tanya dato sri.

PM : tanya la cepat, saya busy ni

BS : bukan apa dato sri, kita sumua tarak paham apa itu Bee Sii Yei, kasi terang sket ada boleh ka

PM : ayoyo, itu pun tarak tau. sini mari, saya kasi cerita. mula2 lu kasi bersih semua projek ini negeri dalam. angkat kasi lu punya bapak punya emak, adik beradik and kawan2 la. apa ada, semua lu sapu, jgn tinggal apa2 anei. belakang projek sudah jalan, lu make sure itu semua org ada amanah. wang sudah masuk kena kasi komisyen sama kita. sapa pecah amanah, blacklist and kasi susah. finally, bikin kerja mesti cekap. jgn sampai apa nama.... kena tangkap.

BS : banyak terima kasey dato sri, skarang juga saiya kasi tau sumua worang.

so the policy went full steam ahead. all ministers were happy now that their pockets are loaded and heavy. welcome to the BOLEHLAND.

next the PM embarked on a daring project of industrialization. he set up JAWASTEEL, a company dealing with steel. pm seemed to forget that for centuries, the MALAS (native of the BOLEHLAND) only knew how to make keris, buku lima, mata lembing and alike stuff, they have never encountered an enormous project of that magnitude. JAWASTEEL encountered problems. so he went to see uncle enrique. uncle enrique made a miracle and JAWASTEEL was seen as making tons of profits, then, to the tune of david copperfield's magic, JAWASTEEL went kaput. PM also started a national car project and PERATON (perusahaan automobil negara) was born. he wanted the subjects to buy national cars at a cheaper price (hence lower quality of all sorts). he was very proud to unveil the first national car called PS. but hey, the subjects were not too happy as the mat sallehs were buying the same car but of higher quality at a comparatively, cheaper price. this is unfair. but what to do, this is the BOLEHLAND.